New Shrek.movie Online

Donkey bursts through the reeds on a rusty, creaking cart pulled by two very unenthusiastic pigeons.

PUSS IN BOOTS (grey-muzzled, wearing a tiny eye patch over one eye now, still dramatic) leaps onto the cart.

CUT TO: Title card. “SHREK: FAR FAR AWAY FROM HOME.” Kicking off with a cover of “Should I Stay or Should I Go” — but played entirely on washboard, donkey bray, and lute.

What?

…that’s just accurate critique.

FADE IN on the swamp. It’s cleaner than ever. Little welcome mats are out. Fionas in a rocking chair, reading a book by ogre-light. Three teenage ogre children — FERGUS, FARKLE, and FELICIA — scroll on something that looks like a magical glowing stone tablet (“CackleChat”).

He was never meant to be this comfortable. new shrek.movie

That’s the problem, baby! You’re on your third oatmeal . You used to eat knights for breakfast! But now? Now you’re one bad back away from ordering a walking stick from the QVC catalog for ogres.

(without looking up from her book) Go, Shrek.

SHREK, 50s, softer around the middle, with reading glasses and a fishing rod, sits on his outhouse-turned-patio. Donkey bursts through the reeds on a rusty,

(He stands, groans audibly, one knee pops.)

Beat.

You analyze them, Shrek. Last week you said “that one had structural integrity but lacked tonal variety.” “SHREK: FAR FAR AWAY FROM HOME