If you grew up in the late 90s, there’s a good chance you remember the VHS cover for Small Soldiers . It promised chaos: a creepy, scarred doll holding a makeshift knife, standing next to a chisel-jawed action figure with grenades. But if you haven’t revisited it since the era of dial-up internet, you might be shocked by how dark, clever, and surprisingly mature this film actually is.
★★★★☆ (4/5 – A cult classic that grows sharper with age.) small.soldiers film
It also bombed at the box office. Why? It was too violent for young kids and too silly for adults. But like the Gorgonites, it was misunderstood. It’s a war film that argues peace is possible, and a toy movie that warns us not to play with fire. If you haven’t watched Small Soldiers since you rented it from Blockbuster, do yourself a favor and stream it tonight. Look past the 90s CGI and appreciate the practical animatronics (courtesy of Stan Winston Studio). Listen to the dialogue. And remember: Everything else is just a toy. If you grew up in the late 90s,
“Greetings, Alan. I am Archer, emissary of the Gorgonites. We seek only to find our way home.” – Archie Have you rewatched Small Soldiers recently? Did it scare you as a kid or make you want to join the Commandos? Let me know in the comments below. ★★★★☆ (4/5 – A cult classic that grows
Released in 1998 by DreamWorks Pictures and directed by Joe Dante ( Gremlins , The Howling ), Small Soldiers was marketed as a zany “toys come to life” adventure. In reality, it’s a sharp satire on military-industrial complex, corporate greed, and the ethics of artificial intelligence—wrapped in the packaging of a PG-13 toy commercial. The story follows Alan Abernathy (Gregory Smith), a socially awkward teen whose father owns a failing novelty toy store. Alan lands a summer job and receives a shipment of the hottest new toys: the Commando Elite (hyper-aggressive action figures) and the Gorgonites (benevolent, misshapen creatures designed to lose).