“So once again, the boys learned something. Not about science. Not about society. But about each other. And also that Kenny should probably just stay home for the rest of the pandemic.”
End credits roll over a pixelated version of “My Sharona” played entirely on kazoo and coughing sounds. Want me to adapt this into a script excerpt, fake episode review, or meme-style summary?
People lying. People panicking. People turning a virus into a team sport. And Randy Marsh, attempting to sterilize his weed with a tanning bed.
Cut to South Park Elementary. The boys sit six feet apart in a classroom that now smells like hand sanitizer and broken dreams. Kenny is already dead again—not from COVID, but from choking on a mask that Cartman hot-glued shut as a “social distancing prank.”
Screen fades to black. Text appears: